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Eat Your Heart Out, John McClane

from The Ringer by Camp Dracula

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lyrics

I had a dream I was the man who would rescue her from them.
All of the bad men with the guns were dead the moment they kidnapped my love.

I will destroy you if you mess with her.
It will be like Die Hard but even worse.

They shot me down at the base of the stairs.
They took my love and tied her to a chair.
I fought through them up to the boss
me and his men in a final standoff.

“So what’s it gonna be, the easy or hard way?
I know which one you’ll choose ‘cause I know you’re a smart guy.
You don’t wanna go and make me mad.
I just killed 30 men in a hand-to-hand combat.
I gotta bazooka on my back.
If you move another inch you’ll all go kersplat.
So put down your weapons, give me the girl,
and we’ll get away on this helicopter.”

credits

from The Ringer, released October 18, 2011

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Camp Dracula Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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